DIVORCE AGREEMENT

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, MSNBC and Shirley McClean. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda & The View with you.
P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

kids not at risk -Surprising Reasons Why Some Reject Yiddishkeit

kids not at risk -Surprising Reasons Why Some Reject Yiddishkeit
By Dr. Yakov Lowinger

The townspeople of Nicholsberg were not Chasidim

The townspeople of Nicholsberg were not Chasidim and unaccustomed to some of the practices of their chief Rabbi, the famed Reb Shmelke. A meeting was conveyed by the prominent members of the community to discuss his dismissal. The synagogue's caretaker overheard the meeting while he was cleaning and demanded to be allowed to speak.

"I know that our rabbi is perfectly righteous. Every morning I make the pre dawn rounds, waking the men to come to shul. Each morning I knock on the Rabbi's door. He is always up before me. For the last few week's I have found the rabbi sitting and learning with someone I have never seen. One day I asked the Rabbi who is this stranger and he told me that it is Elijah the prophet."

"Just last week," Continued the caretaker, "as I approached the rabbi's house I saw two men standing at his door. One was this frequent guest, the other wore a gold crown. I asked the rabbi who was the other visitor. He told me it was Menashe, King of Judah. It seems a Rabbi had sent a matter of Jewish law to our rabbi to adjudicate. In the town of that other rabbi lived a Chosid who had taken upon himself to smash all the images in the local church. The man was caught and hanged. There is a widow's fund in that town, but the officers refused to give her any support, saying that it was the man's own fault for getting himself killed. Our rabbi did not know what to answer until the king arrived. He explained to the rabbi that he had been reincarnated as this chosid in order to rectify the evil perpetrated when the king erected an image in the temple."

This story was told by Reb Simcha Bunem of Pischah. After telling the story he concluded, "Look at the humility of this simple caretaker. For weeks he merited to see Elijah, a feat the greatest individuals hope to accomplish once in a lifetime. It never occurred to him that something special had happened to himself, just that his rabbi was a holy man."

Shema Yisroel

Legend tells that after the Holocaust, R. Yosef Kahaneman zt'l , the Ponevezhe Rov began looking for Jewish children who had survived the war. It was known that some of the children had ended up in...

Drop Your Bags

Thank You Hashem !!

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN
This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, ' This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them. ' I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments..'

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings? ' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, ' Thank you, Hashem. '

'What blessings should they acknowledge? ' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world 's wealthy.'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. '

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world. '

'If you can attend a place of worship without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.. '

'If your parents are still alive and still married ..you are very rare. '

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair. '

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
'Thank you Hashem, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. '

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on???? I thank G-d for everything, especially all my family and friends!!

Why we Have a Happy New Year

One of the most misunderstood concept/fact of our contract with G-d, is the accounting system of our job.

Simply stated, WE DO NOT GET PAID HERE ON THIS WORLD.

When we do Mitzvos on this world it is so that we will get the BENEFITS ON THE OTHER WORLD TO COME.

Meanwhile, if we sin , WE HAVE TO PAY FOR IT ON THIS WORLD.

Now what kind of an accounting system is this ?????

Which is why Hashem in his Infinite Goodness, cleans the books from liabilities each year and again and again, so that we should be able to continue forward and keep building for the future.

That is why we have a Happy NEW year each year again and again.

What do we need to do?

We have to understand and appreciate and use this clean record and feel Hashem's love that he wants us to succeed and begin again and again, and to move forward and not look backward.

Blessing all Jews and mankind to understand and utilize this.